Friday, June 17, 2016

Bastille and How Music Saved Me.

So today my favorite band released their newest single from what will be their newest album. It's called "Good Grief" by Bastille and it is pretty dang good if you have not heard it.

Anyway it kind of inspired me to kind of come clean with some of my struggles and how happy I am that Bastille is even a thing and how they have affected my life in a positive way. So a little background to Bastille, at least the connection between me and Bastille. I first heard their song "Haunt" way back in 2013, and my brother and sister and I quickly fell in love with their music. I have to say though that I think I was the most excited about their music. Through the next year, I would frequently search for Bastille's music on the Internet only to find out that their music is only available in Europe and that it had not even been released in the US. That disappointed me to a point that I was looking for ways to download their music because I just wanted to hear more and more of this bands music. Luckily in 2014, they finally came to the US and released their music in the states, which their first two tours quickly sold out and their album sold like crazy. After many failed attempts at getting tickets to shows in nearby cities, I learned that they would be coming to a venue downtown her in Indianapolis. I was working while the ticket sales started and when I visited the sales website about an hour after they were released, I found that they had already sold out. Long story short, I ended up finding tickets for about double the face value. So instead of getting two tickets for around 50 bucks, I only got one. I had never really gone to a concert let alone by myself, so I really didn't know what to expect, but I had no idea how much that day would change my life.

In fact, I would have never known how much Bastille's music would affect my life but I can say I honestly do not know if I would be where I am, if at all without them. Some of you may know about my struggles with anxiety and depression, but for those who don't, I have gone back and forth between seeing a counselor for many years since my dad and grandfather passed away. That coupled with growing social anxiety at the beginning of high school led to me joining one group that seemed to be the best place for me to hide. Theater. In theater I was always surrounded by characters and people playing characters that I soon had my name become a character in school with me being me outside of school. I was known by all of my friends as "Tinks", I very rarely was "Alex" except with my teachers and at home. Tinks was always a happy guy, trying his best to get along with everyone in the theater company along with slowly becoming an experienced actor. All while Alex spent time at home doing what I could to avoid the anxiety of homework. I quickly became fond of music and it's way of keeping me calm and it made it easier to focus and get over my anxiety. Bastille became my escape, I would put my headphones on and listen to their music nonstop over and over to relax. I eventually found more music that was able to do the same for my anxiety but none were quite as effective as Bastille. Multiple times throughout high school and my few college semesters, I had times of high anxiety and times where I did not know what I was going to do or how I would get through a situation. Bastille is one of the reasons I made it to where I am. This may sound a bit ridiculous but to me it is how I survived the high points of anxiety and my symptoms of depression. And as a reminder of this, I have the logo, a very simple triangle, tattooed onto my chest over my heart. A constant reminder of how much I have overcome and how I am capable of continuing on.

The day of the concert, I got dressed and walked to the venue a whole 4 hours early. For four hours before that concert I stood in line by myself, slowly moving forward as the line swept around the corner and about a quarter of a mile down the road. The moment those doors opened, I did everything I could to get as close to the stage as possible. I don't even remember parts of the concert because of how blissfully happy I was to be there. To this day when I think and talk about the concert I get chills and lack words to describe just how incredible it was. For days after, I was still beaming from the concert. But because of that day, I now work for a company that has taken care of me (not without frustrations at times), I have met so many people and I have a family of customers and friends that I get to see on a daily basis that care about me. I had the opportunity to meet the most beautiful girl in the world and now am as happy as I have been in a while.

I know that is a bit of a stretch to all come from me listening to a song way back in 2013, but that is how my life has gone.
 I know 3 things to be a constant always.
    1. My God is Good, ALL THE TIME.
    2. My Dad is up in Heaven watching out for me.
    3. Bastille is the best way to keep me calm and is the reason I am where I am today.

If you have made it this far, I really appreciate you reading this blog. It has been overwhelming the amount of people who have read my posts and I thank you all so much.

I'm going to plug my GoFund me for my book again just because every little bit helps, It supports me to get a computer and continue writing and doing the stuff I love including going back to school (Hopefully this fall!!) but I do need a computer to take classes. The link for that is GoFund.Me/TinkBook . Even if you just look and read the description I would appreciate it. I am currently working on putting all of my hand-written pages onto a word document and HOPEFULLY will be posting a short excerpt from it soon!

Again thank you all so much and DFTBA

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